Good day everyone.
Just a note for you on what we are learning about taking care of yourself that goes along with caring for your wavy/curly hair.
Self Care is so important.
It is part of my own personal vocabulary to understand myself better as 'self care' was not really on my radar. Over time it just faded away and I was wondering why I wanted to check out or even just give up at times.
Maybe you can relate - or if you are on a path of self care now then reply back with how you are caring for yourself with tips that can be used in another blog for helping others in the near future.
As a curly hair specialist - or as other people in service industries do with always putting other people above themselves - can lead to burn out or a sense of not caring anymore - it's so important to learn to step back and learn to find things to renew yourself so that you remain passionate to continue - not just for others- but for an invigorating LIFE.
I learned to time block my life - I have to mark out what is called Marginal Time and this is meant to be time for myself. If you were to ask me to do something I would say, "I can't do that time but what about this day and time?" and I would give an option to protect my own time so that I can serve you later (this is called setting boundaries).
People around the world know about setting boundaries on other people - but hardly anyone sets boundaries FOR THEMSELVES!
What I have learned is that not many people SET ASIDE TIME FOR THEMSELVES.
It doesn't have to be hours - even 15 minutes or an hour, maybe a 1/2 day or a full day or even a few days.
What happens during that time off?
I have learned that people do one of two things - it is related to healthy options or a numbing out self care routine.
I have to focus on healthy options of self care as this renews me to stay on my path with positive energy and even positive physical energy. The other option is numbing out with too much Netflix, gluttony of food intake and just laying around so much that I get soar from being on the couch (that actually happened!).
I look at self care as a reward - not as a demand that I deserve. I work hard and the reward sometimes is a light sushi lunch, or a massage and yes I even get a pedicure. If I mark out a full day I can look at self care as going to a used book store, pulling out an old journal and just doing some kind of art inside it that looks like a third grader did it and yet it nurtured my soul. I may go for a nature walk and time it to get a massage afterward.
I do not tell people in my life I am marking out Marginal Time for myself because if I tell people I am 'off' then they want in on it, or give me a 'to do' list. Remember I am an Introvert and I want some renewal time for myself and if its with a friend then it is with someone that will renew me....not exhaust me.
You should know what exhausts YOU.
Gluttony of food, going to a crowded place or watching too much TV can exhaust me. If I do too much of something on my Marginal Time Day it can drain me to want another day off. Its like going on vacation and needing a day off to renew a bit.
Learning to listen to my intuition on what is best for me and honoring what I hear is what I have realized is very important - and I learned this through working on my clients and teaching hairstylist how to manage and embrace their hair.
For example: I can not recommend another curly hair product for you.
Only thing I can recommend is learning - with practice - to care for yourself by slowing down, learning to feel your hair, learn to listen to what you hear with a meditative process of squeezing in and slowing down to truly hydrate your hair....and your soul.
Just do this ONCE in your life time.
Learn to see in the mirror your hair gliding smooth and respond with gratitude that your hair is soft and feels nice and then go into pulsing and scrunching...with care - to press products into your hair.
If you are 'rushy' then you need to slow down a bit. Most of my clients are 'rushy' and are in a hurry (I am). AND if you have thick hair with a dense amount of it - then for sure you need to slow down on rinsing properly and with application of products.
Often our hair is a reflection of our soul - of which I emphasize the Inner Curl Mentor - to learn about being intuitive about our hair - as once we become mechanical we loose focus on ourself...and life.
YouTube and Instagram are filled with sharing mechanical tips with manufactures sending them products to hold in a photo and swipe left to see them using it. If you use their special discount code you will get similar results?
If you are having an ‘off’ day - remember….you did not do anything wrong.
Your hair expresses itself differently EVERYDAY - thinking you can control this is a sure path to crazy-land!
Once you develop a self care routine for your hair, you learn to develop your Inner Curl Mentor and with practice you realize you can take what you do for your hair and translate it to your life.
Its a choice and what helps more is to have a guide and community to help you do this. Self care over time makes you a better person to be around and there for - even as an Introvert - you WANT to and DESIRE to be with others and tell the world about what you are achieving so that this in return helps others.
Today's 'homework' is for you to look over your calendar a few weeks out or next month and mark out an hour, day or two and OWN IT as your own for Self Care.
It is amazing - that if you think you don't have the time - get up early or stay up late. Own your freaking life for a change.
Even a simple thing of massaging your scalp with just the pads of your fingers can calm your nervous system down, change your breathing pattern and close your eyes to just empty your thoughts can do for your life...especially if you do it with repetition. I have to do this at times during days filled with life and busy-ness. That is different than intentionally finding a day or time just for YOU.
We chatted a bit about this in our Cultivate Your Curls community and this note to you is based on that chat in that there is more to life than getting another product, watching more social media to hack away at your brain and over time exhaust your spirit to want to give up.
Please do not give up on yourself - learning to embrace not just your hair but more of yourself - and give yourself Marginal Time to care for yourself - so that you have the energy to move forward - is what has worked for me so well that I want to make sure you know about this to implement yourself.
Curly Hair Artistry
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